If you’ve met me, and you may well have done so, you’ll know me by my sunny disposition, snappy wardrobe, vertical hair and constant consumption of various stimulants that make me awesome. Indeed I was often advertised for my end of the pier show with the slogan “a smile, a song, a faint smell of Marlboro”. Well those days are over kids. I’ve quit. So naturally I wrote to Philip Morris to let them know.
Continue reading “On ode to Marlboro” »

I hit upon the idea to confront perpetrators of heinous advertising very easily – they create a horrible ad and I go for the very obvious jugular. So far, business as usual. Sometimes however I go chasing some heinous advertising and find that it gets worse as I go looking for the “contact us” link on the website. (I do link to the advert, sorry in advance.)
Continue reading “Go Compare opera singer devoured by bear” »

Shoes are important. They are delightful extensions of your very soul. They change your mood. They can be both a weapon and fuzzy comfort. They bring you endless happiness and never once do they drunk call you or want a lift to the station at 6am.

Continue reading “Shoes” »

I should first point out that I don’t have anything against mobile phone companies, far from it, I applaud the tenacity with which they’re getting filthy stinking rich off an industry that didn’t exist 15 years ago. This time around I’m looking to hook up my ever growing children with their first phones.
Continue reading “Mobile Phone Hi-Jinx with Three” »

I find sexism as funny as the next man, but when it’s used to portray a product as being “so simple a man could use it” I’m curious as to whether this is sensationalist marketing for the sake of it. I have tried to figure this out by writing to the makers of Oven Pride, and they obliged me with a response.
Continue reading “Sam vs Oven Pride : round 2” »

Thoroughly enjoying the recent spate of cranky old man letters sent to anyone who’ll listen, our hero sets his sights on the Liberal Democrat party and picks some holes in their political approach which will probably leave them unelectable. Again.
Continue reading “Fair change Britain” »

As complaints go, my issue with high street leviathon Debenhams was fairly under arm in nature but that did not lessen the impact of receiving a positive response from their customer service hit squad. That said, I shouldn’t really be surprised given that the respondant in question shares a name with yours truly.
Continue reading “Sam vs Debenhams : round 2” »

While I was promised by the Orange Customer Service Automaton that I would receive a response within 24 hours I had to wait 144 hours for the enlightening feedback from their expert front line customer experience and satisfaction staff.
Continue reading “Sam vs Orange : round 2” »

Apparently this marvellous product is “so easy a man can do it”. As a domesticated badass I am obliged to find out exactly how simple that actually is, just in case I have the double digit IQ necessary to use it.
Continue reading “Sam vs Oven Pride : round 1” »