Go Compare opera singer devoured by bear
I hit upon the idea to confront perpetrators of heinous advertising very easily – they create a horrible ad and I go for the very obvious jugular. So far, business as usual. Sometimes however I go chasing some heinous advertising and find that it gets worse as I go looking for the “contact us” link on the website. (I do link to the advert, sorry in advance.)
Dear Go Compare
What the hell are your marketing people thinking? Seriously. What kind of creative brief were they given to have come up with the atrocity that is the fat annoying mustachioed opera singer? Maybe I’ve started too strongly here, but then again, what in the name of my sainted mother’s prize rhubarb crumble where you people thinking?
I appreciate that in the price parasite industry the spoils go to those who have the catchiest, quirkiest tabloid friendly mascot to yell slogans in 30 second masterpieces during episodes of the Jeremy Kyle show or Loose Women but you’ve really gone the wrong way about it.
To be honest with you I was pretty vexxed about this irritating gimp before I visited your website to voice my concern. But you went and did something that pushed me over the edge. I discovered that not only had you made a bad choice in perpetrating this obese caricature in the first place, but you were also keen on sticking with it as a campaign choice because he has his own slot on the front of your site. Worse still, you’ve given him a name… Gio Compario. I can only hope you shoehorned the name to fit the character rather than the other way around.
Hateful marketing construct
Yes, you’re up against Alexander the meercat and I understand that it must be disheartening to have your entire brand identity’s arse kicked by the word “simples” being endlessly requoted by a sockpuppet, but surely you understand that as a character he’s at worst inoffensive and repetitive, and at best a household name. Gio Compario on the other hand is not any of these things, even on a really good day.
Now, you fell short with your last campaign where your key feature of “special five star rating” was hardly the most thrilling, after all just how special can a five star rating be? Do the stars dance? Do they come to your house and do the ironing? No. These stars simply represented a score between 1 and 5 to show how appropriate a response was. Useful, but hardly radical.
Is this why your fat aggravation squeals that you’ll thank your stars that you went to Go Compare? If so, please hurt the person responsible. I can suggest ways that would be appropriate on request.
Just look at what those plucky chaps at MoneySupermarket.com have done, or as we pronounce it these days MoneySuperMAARket.com, they went out and got Omid Djalili to play a whacky haggler as their weapon against the all conquering meercat puppet, and you know what, their ads are funny because he’s a funny charming guy.
On reflection, it seems to me that your head of marketing is operating under the misbelief that memorable equals successful, in which case I’d like to counter it with the following – not only do I switch channels, or mute when your annoyance appears on screen, but due to his association with your brand I am boycotting your service and advising anyone who’ll listen to do the same. It is simply unacceptable that this kind of backward rubbish be permitted on television. I’d sooner watch that advert about thrush. Twice.
So, this is a very negative letter to you folks but I come bearing gifts. I have an alternative to your current approach I’d like to offer you for no cost at all – your brand is Go Compare, so you either want to emphasise Go or Compare in your TV campaign using an iconic mechanism to ensure you are associated with something memorable. You know this. Or should. So without further ado, I put to you the COMPARE BEAR. The Compare Bear has a theme tune “Go Compare Bear, Go” (I’m thinking something in a Power Rangers sort of vibe) and spends its time choosing what to destroy next. You could have it eating a meercat on a stick in the first ad, chasing a friendly British-Iranian haggling expert in another, feasting on the remains of a muppet elephant in a third. The point is the bear decides, it weighs the pros and cons of what it’s going to eat/destroy and it goes to town on it. Violence is funny, funny is memorable, funny makes people like you. In fact I’d rewatch on YouTube ads that had Gio Compario screaming like a girl while being chased by a bear complete with a special 5 star rating before being caught and torn asunder.
Make it happen for me Go Compare.
God bless
Sam
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March 24th, 2010 at 2:51 pm
“Violence is funny” Never were a truer phrase committed to keyboard.
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