How To Build A Log Flume
Good morning students.
Today I will talk to you about log flumes and the creation thereof. This is in response to almost 2 queries this site has received on that very subject, and being as I am a man of the internet I strive to always fulfill the requests of those visiting this place, no matter how bizarre they may be. In fact, the more bizarre the better.
Let us begin with a small history lesson and overview of the current state of Log Flume (or simply “Flume” for brevity) technology :
The ride, for it is a ride, is simple in concept. Mild-thrillseekers float around a large “flume” (or “Flume”) in small fiberglass boats (or “logs”) designed to look like wooden logs. While the lofty goal of appearing like wooden logs exists, fundamentally what we’re talking about here is fundamentally a fake log, one should note this to avoid later confusion vis a vis splinters, bark-rot, woodpecker incursion and the like. The ride starts with an enthralling gradual climb up an incline, often referred to as a slope, or “lift”. A pump under the lift raises the water to the height of the flume at the bottom of the lift. The logs are carried up the lift on a conveyor belt, then drop down the slide into the flume, which at the bottom of the “low lift” is higher than the rest of the ride. Everyone with me so far?
The “logs” then float around the curving flume, carried forward by the the water, which is actually traveling slightly downhill. This is important to note when plotting a Flume of some description, as if the water were traveling uphill it wouldn’t work. This is an important safety note. The ride reaches the bottom of “the high lift”. The water at the base of this lift is the lowest level of the ride. The logs travel up another conveyor belt and then drops down a much higher slide to the end of the ride. The final drop creates the splashing effect for which the ride is famous. This splashing effect is the primary reason “people” use the Flume.
With those fundamentals out of the way we can now concentrate on creating the Flume itself.
For this exercise you will need the following :
- Logs (either authentic™ or manufactured according to preference)
- Tubing suitable for the transit of logs
- Scaffolding. The good kind.
- A couple of conveyor belt things.
- Water (amount to be determined in accordance with tubing/log/depth ratios)
- Some space
- A surly teenager
- A blank health and safety directive form
- Probably some tools and nails and shit
Using the space you have set aside for this project, arrange your tubing suitable for the transit of logs in an exciting fashion. Traditionally this means a windy circle kind of thing. Don’t make it too long, you want to get your marks on and through as quickly as possible in order to maximise your profit.
Next, take the scaffolding and use it on the tubing to make ramps and hills and slopes and plenty of exciting and seemingly dangerous curves and overhangs and things. People like that. It’s worth noting that if you haven’t used the good kind of scaffolding, while you may save money you risk it rusting and generally becoming unattractive over the passage of time.
Scaffolding looks like this.
Splash liberal quantities of water around your ride being careful to get all of it wet to greater and lesser degrees. Next, carefully place your logs at even intervals around the ride, and get the surly teenager to switch the bastard on. Profit!
Next week, cold fusion.
