Hey hey kids! There’s a new craze that’s sweeping the globe right now and you, yes you, could join in, get hooked and achieve all those things you never thought possible.

Thousands of people just like you are searching “high and low” (see note) for phentermine right now and we’ve got the hook up! We can give you the little summin’ summin’ (word, yo) you need to get yo crunk on. And shit.

So what is phentermine?

Good question, let us give you the straight dope on this phat dope.

Phentermine, right, is like a drug, yeah, that makes you lose weight. Sweet or what? So you can still kick it in your crib, chowing down on more Dominos than the Guinness Book of Records watching 14-16 hours of Jerry per day and still end up looking a million bucks! No shit! No more do you need to concern yourself with getting some exercise or eating right lard-arse, now you can burn it all off with a regular course of phentermine – or P-Diety as we like call it. M’sho.

How does it work? Pretty simple really. We were, like, looking for the cure to cancer and found out that our shit-hot new drug made all the little white mice in the lad throw up repeatedly for like a month or something. Even the fat ones got thin, and the thin ones got seriously thin, like supermodel thin. Yuhuh. So we figured, rather than waste the time we put into making this drug do something useful we’d sell it to to people too lazy to exercie, thus making them fat, thus making them unable to exercise, thus watching too much TV and witnessing beautiful people who were slim and funloving making them want to be the same, thus needing a drug to do it. Like QED and shit.

The coolest thing is that P-Diety is only intended for short term use, right, so we can’t tell you what long term effects there may be because we ain’t tested it that far. Live on the edge baby! But don’t worry we’ve got some shit-cool side effects that’ll hit you right away :

• Blurred vision

• Dry mouth (recommend having a nice glass of water)
• Sleeplessness
• Irritability (recommend smoking)
• Stomach upset and/or constipation

Check this – the main advantage of P-Diety is that it suppresses the appetite cos you feel like freshly-warmed shit, however, the drug also elevates the heart rate and blood pressure so you feel like you’re about to die! And let’s face it, if you think you’re about to kick the bucket the last thing you want is a cheeseburger. Unless you’re Elvis.

Some of you may have heard that P-Diety shows up on drug tests as amphetamines! You’d be right! As phentermine is similar chemically to amphetamines, it may cause a positive result in urine screening tests for amphetamines. With this in mind, if you’re after that full amphetamine drug test result with none of the amphetamine down sides (wanting to dance a lot, wide awake for 24 hours, having a great time until cramp kicks in, robbing your bones of calcium etc) P-Diety is the party drug for you! Experience the thrill of blurred vision and stomach discomfort with none of the illegality!

Pharmaceutical companies, particularly those in the US of blessed A, are satan incarnate, and come the revolution will be forcefed a bottle of each of the quack remedies they have concocted by me and my friends.

Stop fucking around with diet pills, quit eating pizza, go clubbing once a week, drink some Red Bull and dance for three hours straight and you’ll soon slim down a bit.