So, I caught Channel Four’s 50 films to see before you die a while back and it set me thinking about whether there was indeed a definitive list of stuff I should get upto before I croak.

Apparently there are quite a few. With everyone chipping in their lists of items to accomplish pre-coffin I figured I’d compile a list based on all the other lists I could find.

The Definitive List of Things To Do Before You Die (Truncated)

Learn to bartend
See Stonehenge
Take a trip on the London Eye
Raise a child
Inhale helium and start singing
Make an enemy for life.
Drink a keg of Guinness (no time limit)
Go Loch Ness Monster Hunting
Ride A Rollecoaster
Swim in the ocean

Right, that list is fucking tedious, and lacks any imagination and I’ve done it all (which is why they were chosen, spookily why they might be a tad dull).

So, with that in mind I have decided to concoct a 10thingstodobeforeyoufuckingdie list of my very own. All of these are HARD CORE just like me. So…

10 Things To Accomplish

1. Stack a car, big time. Ideally deliberately.
2. Stage dive from one of my own gigs.
3. Eat something bigger than my own head.
[done] 4. Watch “Showgirls” 5 times back to back.
5. Save £1000 over the course of a year then bet it on something stupid.
6. Be mentioned in Wikipedia in the philosophy section (without writing it myself).
7. Grow a full-on beard, like ZZ-Top.
8. Join a parade in Brighton dressed as Wonder Woman.
[done] 9. Throw an axe through a television while a Reese Witherspoon movie is on.
10. Convince others to spread the word of Sam.

I’m doing it. It’s on. I’ve got me a list and they will be achieved. Place your bets on the running order.